Helping Your Neurodivergent Teen Become More Independent 

As children grow into teens, they often want to do more on their own. This is a normal part of growing up. But for caregivers of autistic and neurodivergent teens, this can feel especially hard. Many caregivers worry about safety, how others will treat their children, or how their teens will handle problems as they are building skills. 

Each autistic child has unique goals, resources, and needs. Some may need support as they are building skills such as brushing their teeth, doing chores, or talking to people in public. Others may want to seek more freedom to go places alone, hang out with friends, or even get a job.  

Common Worries Caregivers Have 

Many caregivers of autistic teens worry about: 

• Safety – What if my child gets overwhelmed in a crowd? 
• Not being understood – What if people don’t understand my child or misread a situation, and call the police? 
• Everyday tasks – Has my child built the skills to complete chores, manage money, or make friends on their own? 
• Losing or transitioning services to a different care team – Some support stops when a child becomes a teen or young adult. 

Some caregivers also worry about their teen  getting a haircut, going to the dentist, or visiting loud or crowded public places. Each of these events can present unique challenges for caregivers and their kids to navigate.  

How You Can Support Your Autistic Teen in Becoming More Independent 

Here are some ways to work with your autistic teen take safe steps toward independence: 

Make a Plan Together 
Talk with your teen and your care team about what independence means for your child and your family. Work toward one to two milestones at a time that helps move you closer to your child’s goal. 

Set goals step-by-step  
If your teen wants to ride their bike to a friend’s house, maybe start by driving the route together. Then, have them ride while you follow in the car. Later, let them go alone but check in when they arrive. 

Use School Resources 
If your autistic child has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), ask the school to include goals that align with your goals at home, so these skills generalize to different settings and can be reinforced. Some examples might be completing tasks, learning about money, or learning how to stay safe in public places. 

Look for Community-Based Programs 
Some communities have transition programs for autistic teens. These can help with learning job skills, finding friends, or building confidence. 

Find Peer Support 
Talk to other caregivers of autistic teens. They may have tips and ideas that work for your family. 

Are There Different Concerns for Girls and Boys? 

Research shows that autistic girls may try harder to “fit in” by copying social behavior; this skill is called masking. While autistic girls look like they fit in, sometimes it can be tiring for the teenager to observe, cope, and mimic social behaviors. It might also confuse their peers when a social cue is misunderstood or misapplied. Autistic boys often focus on their own specific special interests and share them in social settings without recognizing the need to take turns or explore other common interests with friends.  Both may benefit from evidence-based programs, such as the UCLA PEERS class, which teaches teens and caregivers who are interested and motivated how to build friendship skills. 

Advice for Teens 

If you are an autistic teen who wants more freedom, talk with your caregivers about what matters most to you. Decide what you are hoping to do on your own and work with your family to set goals. Taking small steps can help you earn their trust and build your own confidence. 

Technology Can Help 

Technology can be a helpful tool for autistic teens who want to be more independent. Some apps let caregivers see where their teen is, which can help everyone feel safer. Teens can also use their phones to text for help if they’re feeling stressed or need support. Some apps even give tips or calming tools if a teen is having a hard time. 

Technology can also help teens find others who understand what they’re going through. This can help them feel less alone and more confident.

We are here to help!

Imagine Pediatrics is dedicated to improving the health and lives of children with special health care needs. We provide 24/7 virtual and in-home care and support. We don’t replace your child’s current care team. We work with them to give your child more access to the high-quality care they need, whenever they need it – right from home. Our services are often at no cost if they are part of your child’s existing health plan benefits. Learn more about us here or call us (833) 208-7770.

Legal Disclaimer  

This information is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals for medical concerns. In case of emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room immediately.